doylnea
22-11-2005 20:23:31
holy forwarded email of the day - and a response from a buddy.
[quote69d9c1644a]On that note - here's some interesting information on Mr. T.
Mr. T survived a roundhouse kick to the face from Chuck Norris. He was
the first and only one to do so.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has
taken you to read this sentence.
Mr. T once took a crap at a party in New York City. Afraid of being
killed if you flushed it, people left it alone. The poop sat in that
toilet for nine months. That is how Puff Daddy was born.
Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest
in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a
black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through
doors.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him.
What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown
ever recorded in human history.
Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is
around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a pornstar regains her virginity.
Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T.
Mr. T's hair style is actually a complex array of antennas that can
triangulate the exact location of any fool in the universe. His gold
chains can then transmit pity to those coordinates.
Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his
genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact,
nothing but T's.
Mr. T invented cryogenics for the sole purpose of turning fools into
Pity Pops, which he then sells to buy more gold chains.
The Manhattan Project really did not create the atom bomb, but instead
put Mr. T's pity in a bottle and then dropped it on Japan.
Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six
of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of
pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to
man was killed in the pilot episode.
Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting
pain.
Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to
prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.
When Mr. T cuts onions, it's the onions doing the crying.
When Dr. Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk. When the
Hulk gets angry, he turns into Mr. T.
If you were ever foolish enough to get into a fight with Mr. T, there
would only be two hits Mr. T hitting you, and you hitting the surface
of the Sun.
Mr. T took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to the event as the Big
Bang.
The vegetarian group PETA one time tried to establish the catchprase
"We PETA the fool who eats animals." Upon learning of this blatant
theft of his catch phrase, Mr. T founded McDonalds.
Mr T defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you're still alive,
it's because Mr T loves you.
Mr. T's GMC van does not travel on solid surfaces, but instead
mathematical planes. In other words, it can go wherever the hell Mr. T
wants.
Mr. T was once clocked at 100 fps. That's 100 fools pitied a second.
Mr. T once got into a fight with a ninja. He killed the ninja, but
only after the ninja had cut off two of his fingers. Those fingers
grew up to be Gary Coleman and Webster.
Mr. T invented Asian people, because he thinks they're cute and don't
take up much room.
Small animals find Mr. T irresistable and can be found playing in his
mohawk. Mr. T tolerates them because "they don't give me no lip."
Osama Bin Laden isn't hiding from the US, he's hiding from Mr. T.
Remember, only you can prevent forest fires. But also remember that
you can't do shit, because Mr. T is the one who starts them, and no
one can stop that crazy fool.
During one of his frequent time-traveling adventures, Mr. T was
accosted by a horde of frenzied Olde Englishmen who believed he was
"Mr. Tea" and that he was going to supply them with all the tea and
crumpets they could possibly desire. With a single blow, Mr. T knocked
the entire mob unconscious. To this day, English people still have
gnarly-ass teeth.
Mr. T can count past infinity.
[/quote69d9c1644a]